Alternative Ending to Allegiant (TRIS POV)
by Johanna8D
Summary: Ever wondered what it would be like if Tris survived at the end of Allegiant? Well, this is what I think could've happened if she did. Hope you enjoy, please leave a review! :)
1. Some Kind of Miracle

**Note that I do not own the characters in this story. All rights go to Veronica Roth.**

I feel a thread tugging me again, but this time I know that it isn't some sinister force dragging me toward death.

This time I know it's my mother's hand, drawing me into her arms.

And I go gladly into her embrace.

Can I be forgiven for all I've done to get here?

I want to be.

I can.

I believe it.

My mother is gone again. Everything is gone, there's nothing left. _This is the end, _I think._ It's all over now._ I'm welcoming death, because maybe everything will be better where I go next. But I can't move on, because I still _feel_ alive. Even though I'm buried deep down in this darkness and can't find the end of it anywhere and I'm gasping for air, I still feel something. It's like a deep ache growing inside of me, eating me up from the inside. If I'm… if I am dead, I wouldn't feel anything, right? So why does the darkness slowly fade away, why does this deep ache grow into stabbing pain, spreading from my stomach to my head and all the way out to the tip of my toes. Everything hurts now, the pain is everywhere, I'm drowning in it. I feel like screaming but I can't find the right muscles to open my mouth and I don't know where I am or what's going on. I just want the pain to stop; _please,_ please,I think, _make it stop. _And then, suddenly, the blackness is complete again, wrapping around me hard like a blanket, heavy and thick, and the pain is gone.

I'm pulled awake with a jerk and I can't feel anything for a moment. It's dark, but I'm relieved that it's not the paralyzing blackness from before. When was before? I have no idea how long I was stuck in the darkness.

I can finally breathe normally, although every breath comes with a stinging pain. I try to open my eyes but I can't. The pain is getting worse every second and I catch myself longing after the heavy darkness, the only thing that at least got rid of the pain.

_Bang._

The worst pain I've ever felt hits me in the stomach like nothing else I felt before and I try to scream but only a low moan escapes my lips. My eyes fly open, desperately looking for something that will help me escape. Then my eyes adjust to the darkness in the room and I see a figure sitting in front of me.

Everything comes back to me.

Caleb. The death serum. David with the gun. The fear of dying, and then my mother. I must've lived. In some unbelievable way I survived both the death serum and David's bullets. But now he's come to finish what he started.

I scream out loud. _No, not this, not him! Please, don't let him shoot me again, I don't want to die… _

"Shhh", a familiar voice says. "It's okay, Tris, you're safe. It's okay."  
I feel a hand on my cheek and my heart stops for a moment. Looking up into those dark blue eyes I finally feel safe again, I feel at home.

"Tobias?" I cry out, a few tears running down my cheek.

"I'm here", he whispers, his hand placing a string of hair behind my ear.

"C-can you turn on the light?" I say, trying to sit up. My voice shakes a little as I speak.

He turns on a lamp next to my bed and helps me sit.

I take a few deep breaths to calm down and look around in the room. White walls, medical equipment on steel tables, windows with closed blinds. A hospital?

"How are you feeling?" Tobias asks, his face concerned. "How's the pain?"

"I… I don't know." I say. He looks at me sternly and I have to look down. "Everything hurts." I can't stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. I don't feel like myself.

Tobias nods and pushes a couple of buttons next to my bed. "Painkillers", he explains. "We'll have to wait a couple of minutes for them to kick in."

I notice several tubes going into my arms and feel kind of sick. "How long have I been... unconscious?"

"Almost two weeks", Tobias replies, and his voice breaks. I suddenly realise how tired he looks, dark rings around his eyes. "You've been in a coma."

I flinch. "I thought... I was dead. I thought I died. "

Now it's his turn to flinch. "Me too."

I can't look at him. "I'm sorry", I whisper. "For going in there, and for hurting you, I just... I couldn't let Caleb die, not when I had a chance…"

My eyes are tearing up again and I desperately try to blink them away. How did everything get this bad? Why does everything I do have to hurt someone?

Tobias places a hand on my chin and tilts my head up, forcing me to meet his eyes.

"Don't cry", he says softly. "I'm okay, and you're going to be too."

I shake my head, and I can't stop the tears now. I miss my parents. I miss the way it used to be between Caleb and I. My head hurts, and I can't breathe.

"Shhh, it's okay", Tobias says again.

I scoot over a little in my bed so that he can lie down next to me and he wraps his arms around me. "I love you", he whispers. "I'm so glad you didn't die."

I have no answer for him.

He lays beside me, his hand stroking my hair, until the pain meds kick in and I fall asleep.

When I wake up the sun is shining through the window, reflecting in the metal tables against the wall.  
"Hey", says Tobias softly. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better", I says, sitting up on my own this time.

I clench my teeth as pain from the gunshot wound spreads through my body. He notices.

"Do you want more pain meds?" he says, worried.

I shake my head. "I'm fine."

He looks like he doesn't quite believe me, but gets up. "Christina has been waiting for you to wake up. Do you want to see her?"

I nod. Christina's the only friend I have left now, except for Tobias and maybe Cara. Will, Uriah, Lynn, Marlene, they're all gone. I try to swallow the lump in my throat. _Don't cry,_ I tell myself sternly.

Tobias bends over me, touches my cheek gently and then leaves through a door on the opposite side of my room, which Christina enters through a couple of seconds later. She smiles as she sees me and rushes forward to hug me. I let out a small moan of pain.

"Sorry!" she says, letting go quickly. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too." I smile back at her.

She studies me for a while, and her smile disappears. I suddenly notice her blinking back tears. "Why did you go? You should have let Caleb..." She doesn't continue, almost like she doesn't have the energy to carry on.

I sigh, closing my eyes. "Caleb… he would've died immediately, and I couldn't let him do that, not when I knew I had a better chance at survival. No matter what he did, he's still my brother."

"You could've died to", Christina protests. "You almost did."

I look down. "I know. I'm so sorry…"

I take in a deep breath, trying to ignore the pain. "I didn't want to hurt any of you."

She nods, biting her lip. "We know that. Just… don't do anything like that again."

"I won't."  
"Promise?"

"Promise."

**Eeeep! A new story! What did you think about the first chapter? I tried my best to stay true to the characters, although of course they've changed a little after going through what they have, and I really hope you liked it. Please leave a review telling me what you thought and I might continue the story! :)**


	2. No Regret

Tobias stays with me for the rest of the day. He brings me lunch, and I manage to eat a few meatballs. Then I sleep for a few hours, until Tobias wakes me up later that evening with a harsh look on his face.

"Tobias?" I ask. "What's wrong?"

"You have a visitor", he replies. "Caleb."

I nod. "Let him in."

"Tris…" Tobias starts, eyes cold.

"No", I say. "I hope you haven't gone too hard on him, Tobias. He didn't just _let_ me do... it… instead of him. I forced him to leave me."

My eyes are tearing up again. "But I still love him. No matter what he's done, he's still my brother. So please… let him in."

Tobias looks at me for a while, studying my face, then he finally nods and opens the door. Caleb walks in slowly, a pained look on his face.

"Hi", he says.

"Hey", I say. He walks up to my bed and puts a hand on my leg, looking a little insecure.

"How are you?" he says, not meeting my eyes.

"I'm better", I say. "You see? Told you I'd survive."

I was trying to joke, but he closes his eye, shaking his head.

"Caleb? What's wrong?" I ask.  
I lean forward, biting my lip to keep from groaning, and grab his hand.

He opens his eyes and sits down next to my bed, holding my hand.

"I shouldn't have let you", he whispers. "I should have died."

I hear Tobias snort in the background, but ignore him.

"No, Caleb, I'm happy to have saved your life. It wouldn't have been right if you died instead of me, when I had a better chance of survival", I say, repeating what I told Christina.

Caleb doesn't say anything, he just shakes his head again.

"Caleb, please, listen. I don't regret anything, and you shouldn't either. It was best this way. If I could go back in time… I wouldn't have changed anything. Even if I died."

Caleb bites his lip and his eyes turn thoughtful. Then he leans forward and wraps his arms around me, carefully, his head against my shoulder. We stay like that for a few seconds, not saying anything. Then he gets up, gives me a small smile and leaves.

Tobias takes his place next to me on the bed and takes my hand in his.

"You wouldn't have changed anything?" he says, looking at our hands. "You would have left me if you could choose?"

"I'm sorry", I whisper, because I don't know what else to say.

He shakes his head a little, but doesn't say anything.

"I love you, you know that?" I say.

He finally looks up, and he smiles although his eyes still look sad.

I place my hand behind his head and pull him closer. He kisses me carefully, like I might break anytime, and pulls away too early.

I frown, but he doesn't look at me again. He gets up.

"I'll… I'll be outside", he says and leaves the room.

I look down at my empty hands, my heart aching. I feel kind of dizzy, so I lay down and fall asleep pretty quickly.

Tobias isn't in my room when I wake up the third day. Although the sun is shining and I'm wrapped in a blanket, I'm freezing.

"Good morning", says a voice from my right side.

A woman is standing beside my bed, her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. The white coat tells me that she's a doctor.

"I'm Dr. Ashford, but you can call me Pamela. How are you feeling today?"

"Fine", I say. "Just a little cold."  
She frowns and looks down at a couple of papers, and then puts a hand on my forehead.

"Oh, you're burning up", she says. "Must have a fever."

She removes the blanket and grabs my arm, looking at a bandage covering the upper part, where I remember being shot by the guards.

"Looks fine", she mumbles.

She moves down to my stomach and folds my shirt up a little, revealing a bandage.

It's covered in blood.

"Oh", she says. "A lot of bleeding. It might be infected."

I swallow.

"Let's give you some antibiotic, and if it doesn't get better at the end of the day we might have take you to the OR." Her brown eyes are clear and awake as she looks down at me. "Try to get some rest."

She hangs a bag of a white-yellow liquid and connects it to a tube leading into my arm.

"There we go. I'll check in on you tomorrow again."

I fall asleep soon after that.

When I wake up I can barely breathe. My heart is beating hard and fast in my chest and I'm sweating although my body is so cold that it's shaking.

"Tris?" says a female voice somewhere around me. "It's Pamela. Your wound is infected, we're going to have to take you into surgery."

I can't really focus on what she's saying, because the pain from my stomach is clouding my mind, making me dizzy.

The last thing I know is my bed rolling through hallways before the pain drags me down into the dark water of unconsciousness.

**A little shorter chapter, hope you don't mind. So, Tris is having a hard time recovering from her wounds. What do you think? Please leave a review and I will see you next time. Bai bai! :)**


	3. Remember, Remember

When I wake up I'm back in my room. I'm disoriented for a while, before I remember what happened. The gunshot wound in my stomach is still stinging, but it's not nearly as painful as before.

I blink against the strong sunlight, reflecting in the white walls in the room. It must be in the middle of the day.

"Tris?" says Dr. Ashford. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm not cold anymore", I mumble.

"That's great. We had to clean your wound and re-stitch it, but it should be fine now. You let me know if you need anything, okay?"

I nod, a little distant, since I just noticed Tobias sitting in the corner of the room, watching me intently.  
As Dr. Whendy closes the door behind her, Tobias gets up and walks over to me.

"Tris", he breathes in relief, sitting down on my bed. "Why didn't you tell me you were feeling bad?"

"I… I wasn't…-"

"You were bad enough to have to go into surgery." Tobias interrupts, his jaw clenched.

"I wasn't feeling bad until I was", I continue. "And you weren't here."

He closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath.

"Tobias, I'm be fine", I say. "Really."

"Yeah? What about me?" he says, standing up with frustration. "Do you think I was fine when Cara told me you were dead?" I flinch at the sharpness of his voice. "Do you think I felt _fine_ watching you barely cling onto life these last weeks, not knowing if you where ever going to wake up? And then you tell me you don't regret it, and would leave me if you had a choice, do you think I'm fine with that?"

He sits down next to me again, taking in a few deep breaths through his nose to calm down. Then he leans forward, his forehead against mine as he kisses me, desperately this time. I wrap my arms around his neck, pressing him closer with my left hand, the arm that wasn't shot. I feel his hand sliding down my other arm, making me shiver. Then he takes my face between his palms, his thumb gently stroking my cheek.

"I love you", he says. "Don't ever do that to me again."

I swallow, feeling to weak to do anything but shake my head.

After a couple of days I get to leave the "hospital" (which was actually located inside the compound of the Bureau), my arm and stomach still bandaged.

Christina and Tobias are still sleeping at the room we got when we first arrived here. I sit down on my bed, resting my head against the wall. The walk here was tiring and painful, even though Tobias supported most of my weight.

"How are you feeling?" he says, leaning against the wall next to my bed.

"I'm fine", I say, although I've said the word _fine_ so many times it doesn't mean anything to me anymore.

He studies my face closely and then meets my eyes, and he doesn't look away. Electricity spreads through me and I can't break the connection.

It is only when Christina enters that I'm able to look away. Her face lights up with a wide smile, although it doesn't quite reach her eyes – she's been through too much. I wonder if I look the same when I smile.

"They discharged you?" she asks, sitting down next to me.

I nod. "On the condition I go back there every two days the next week for a check-up."

"Seems fair", she says. "You feeling alright?"

"Fine", I repeat.  
She snorts. "Would you tell me you weren't feeling fine if you did?"

"Probably not", I admit, smiling.

She laughs. "You hungry? It's a couple of hours after lunch time, but we should still be able to get something to eat."

"Yes! Feels like I haven't eaten in days."  
I get up, too quickly, and wince in pain, pressing my hand to my stomach.

Tobias reaches forward and grabs my arm.  
"Whoa, careful", he says. "You sure you want to walk all the way there?"

I nod, biting my lip. "I'm _fine."_

He sighs. "Yeah, so you keep telling us. Alright, let's go."

He puts an arm around my back so that I can lean against him as we walk. It only takes a couple of minutes to walk, although that's painful enough.

I've realized that if I concentrate on my breathing while I walk it hurts less, so that's how I manage to make my way to the dining hall, and with Tobias' help of course.

Breathe in, take a couple of steps, and then exhale. Breathe in, walk a few steps, exhale.

Tobias helps me sit down at a table, next to Cara, and then leaves with Christina to get us food.

"So", Cara says after several seconds of silence. "You're out of the hospital?"

"Yeah", I mumble, looking down at the table. I don't want to look at her, because every time I do I'm reminded of her brother, Will, who was my best friend, and whom I shot during the war simulation.  
I swallow hard.

"I miss my brother", Cara suddenly says. "I mean, we've lost everyone now, haven't we? You, Tobias, Christina, me. We're the only ones left. And what are we supposed to do now?"

I don't know what to say to that. "Peter's here. And Caleb, he's here too", I say. "He's not dead."  
"Yeah, well, he might as well be, right? After everything he's done to you- to all of us", she says. "Not much of a brother, is he?"

"Hey," I say, feeling kind of protective of my brother. "I get that you're sad, and that life is crappy right now, but you don't have to talk about my brother like that. No matter what he's done, he is still my brother."

She shrugs. "Will never would've done anything like that. Of course, he's dead now, so he didn't really get the chance to prove that. But he was a good brother."

Pang. The painful guilt awakens in my stomach again, clawing at my heart.

"Do we… do we really have to talk about Will right now?" I say, trying to blink away the tears in my eyes.

"Oh yeah, you just kill my brother and then you don't want to talk about it?" Her voice is cold and sarcastic. "Like you have any right to make that choice after what you've done. I know that you've been through a lot, but how the hell do you live with yourself?"

"I think you should go." Tobias voice is cold as he speaks from behind me.

Cara flies up from her chair, so fast that it falls backward. She gives Tobias and me a dark look of anger and disappears out the door

I stare at the place where she was just sitting as tears start to fall down my cheeks.

Tobias reaches forward and wipes a tear away from my cheek. "What happened?"

"She wanted to talk about W…" My voice breaks. "About W-Will. I guess she wasn't as over it as I thought she was. "

"Oh no", Christina whispers. "Let me talk to her, I'll change her mind."

As I look at her, I'm reminded that Will was her boyfriend. I remember how she and Cara talked about me in Candor headquarters when they thought I wasn't listening. Does she too still see me as a murderer?

I get up, shaking my head. "No, it's fine. I'm so sorry, Chris, I really, _truly_ am."

And then I turn around and walk as fast as I can out of the dining hall. Luckily, none of them follow me.

**So I kind of just let my imagination take over and I know that in Allegiant Tris and Cara were friends for a pretty long time but that's not really how I want it to be. My excuse is that something happened to Cara maybe a day before this that reminded her of Will and that's why she was so upset, although you're going to have to read future episodes to find out what happened.**

**So what did you think? Please leave a review, I really appreciate all the amazing feedback and I read through all of your comments even if I don't reply. **

**See ya! :)**


	4. Words Can't Bring Me Down

I have no idea where I'm going, my feet taking me away like they have a will of their own. I can't stop running even though it feels like I'm going to throw up from the pain in my stomach. I finally stop when I walk through a set of doors and can feel the cool, outdoor air against my face. I try to take deep breaths but have trouble breathing, and I bend over in pain, the gunshot wound in my stomach hurting more then ever. I wipe my fingers over the bandage to make sure the sutures haven't torn again. No blood.

It seems like I can't get enough air, and my legs give up under me, and I start crying again. I'm so tired and wanting to just sleep, but every time I close my eyes I see Will's face, smiling at me, and then his body slumped on the ground in a pool of blood.

I let my hands slide over the asphalt, pressing them hard against the small stones in the ground, and I don't care that they rip up skin and that it starts bleeding. That physical pain distracts me from the painful guilt that's eating me up from the inside.

I calm down after a couple of seconds, but I'm too tired to walk back, so I just lean back against one of the walls, wiping my bloody hands on my clothes. I don't know for how long I sit out there, looking up at the sky and thinking about everything, yet nothing. Tobias comes outside when the sun is setting.  
"Tris", he says, relieved. "I've looked everywhere for you."

He frowns as he looks down at my clothes. "Are you bleeding?"

I shake my head and show him my hands, but I don't bother explaining.

He sits down next to me without asking any questions and puts an arm around me. I lean my head against his shoulder.

"What's going to happen now?" I ask. "We have no faction, our entire life and way of living was made up by a bunch of people. How will we know how to behave, how to build our lives?"

"We'll just take one step at the time. These people have lived and survived outside our city for a long time. I'm sure we'll be able to build our lives here too. It'll be okay, Tris."

I nod. "How's Cara?"

"Are you really asking about her right now?" He lifts his eyebrows, although he presses his lips together when I mention her.

"Yes", I say. "I shot her brother, she was right about everything she said. It must be hard for her to see me here, knowing what I did."

He shakes his head. "We've all made mistakes. She had no right to say any of those things to you."

"You didn't answer my question."

"She's fine", Tobias says, rolling his eyes. "Christina talked to her. She's just tired, grieving. She said she knows you only did what you had to do."

We don't say anything for a while, just sit there and watch the sky get darker and darker, until my teeth starts chattering from the cold.

"We should get back inside", says Tobias. "It's starting to get cold."

"I'm fine."  
"Your lips are blue."

I just shake my head.  
"Smile", Tobias says. "I miss your smile."  
"Well," I say, "there hasn't been much to smile about lately."

"Well, do you remember…" he says, "when we climbed the Ferris wheel together?"

I nod, a warmth filling my body even though it's freezing cold outside.

"Do you remember," he leans closer so that I can feel his breath against my cheek, "the first time we kissed? By the chasm?"

I can't help it. I smile. It's a small smile, but it's still there. He smiles back and kisses me.

The next day I feel more like myself then I've done in a long time. I decide to wear a black tank top, showing off my tattoo. Even though I'm not Dauntless anymore, the tattoo feels like an important part of me. Especially now that my parents are gone. My dad, my mom. Caleb is the only one left.

I sit with him at lunch.

"How are you feeling?" he asks as I sit down with my lunch tray. Today we're getting served hamburgers, and it reminds me of my first meal in the Dauntless compound. I had no idea what a hamburger was, which seems really weird among these people where it seems to be a normality. Abnegation was a weird faction.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Oh, I don't know", he says sarcastically. "Perhaps because you survived a death serum and lived through being shot twice."

I shrug. "No biggie, then."

He laughs. "I'm still waiting for you to answer my question."

"Oh, she's _fine",_ Tobias says. "She's always fine."

I shoot him a look. "That's because I _am_ fine."

"Well, you can't be fine _all_ the time, that's like impossible", says Christina.

"Sure I can", I say with a smile. "Watch me."

Now it's Tobias turn to give me a look, as if to remind me of my breakdown yesterday. I was certainly not fine then. But Christina doesn't know about that.

"Tris?"

I look up to see Cara standing next to our table. Tobias stands protectively, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Oh, calm down, would you?" Cara says. "I came to apologize. I shouldn't have said the things I did last night. Will's death happened a long time ago, and I thought I was over it, but… some things happened, so I was upset about that _and _tired. Not a good combination."

"It's okay", I say. "I understand. You have no idea how much I wish… that it never happened."

She presses her lips together. "I'm not saying that I was not right, because it is your fault, just that I shouldn't have said it to you. At least not in the way I did."

"Cara!" Christina exclaims.

"What?" Cara says, folding her arms. "I just think she should know the truth. She killed my brother and her own best friend, which makes her a mur-"

"Stop it", I try to say, but my throat is dry and the words doesn't sound like words. I clear my throat. "Stop. I know what I did, but if I hadn't done it, I wouldn't still be alive. I'm not saying I don't regret it, because I do. Not a day goes by without me wishing Will was here, and my parents, and Tori, _and_ Uriah, Lynn and Marlene." Tears are now streaming down my face again. "None of them deserved to die. But I'm trying to move on, and it's hard, and I know you've been trying too, but when you keep telling me what I did wrong I can't do that, because it hurts to much. So please, just please… shut up."

Cara stares at me for a while, her eyes cold. "I don't think we can be friends anymore", she says and leaves without another word.


	5. Happiness in the Darkest Time

Tobias doesn't leave my side for the whole day after the scene in the cafeteria, probably to try and avoid as much damage to my hands as possible.

"I'm fine, really," I say for the thirteenth as Tobias follows me to the hospital floor. "I won't break down again. I'm myself. I'm strong."

That last part was mostly just to convince myself.

"I know", Tobias says with a smile. "I just want to spend time with you."

Dr. Whendy, who insists I call her Pamela, greets me with a smile.

"How are you feeling today?" asks Pamela.

"And don't say fine", Tobias adds.

I glare at him. "I haven't felt any pain in my arm, although my stomach still hurts a little when I walk."

"That's completely normal, after suffering from severe internal bleeding and that nasty infection. Alright, time to change your bandages then, and see how everything's healing."

I nod and sit down on the hospital bed. Dr. Whendy- sorry, Pamela, starts with removing the bandage from my arm. The skin where the bullet went through is red and looks fragile, but I thought it would've looked worse. A small, dark line marks where the sutures are.

"Looks great," says Pamela. "It has healed just fine. Now lay down, please."

I do as she says and she pulls my shirt up a little to reveal the bandage. She removes the bandage from my stomach as I bite my lip and try to ignore the pain. I look away; I don't want to see the wound.

"Yeah, mhm", she mumbles approvingly. "It hasn't healed as good as your arm, but it's starting to get there." She eyes me suspiciously. "I trust that you've been resting as I told you to?"

I think about yesterday and the running. I know that I'm not a very good liar, so I just nod and look away.

"Okay, good. I'm going to do a quick check for internal bleeding or any other damage, tell me if it hurts."

Her cold hands move around my stomach, pressing and feeling. As she gets closer to the wound a sharp pain cuts through my stomach like a knife blade and I grunt. "Yeah, that hurts."

"Sorry", she says with an apologetic smile. "Alright, I don't think your arm will be bothering you, unless you use it too much, but you can expect some pain in your abdomen for a couple of days at least, until it has healed properly. Then we'll be able to remove the stitches."

She puts a new bandage on my stomach and I sit back up, pulling my shirt down. Pamela grabs another roll of bandage and wraps it around my arm.

"Do I still have to come in every two days?"

"Yes, just so we can be sure the sutures doesn't tare or anything."

"Okay. See you then", I say, getting up from the bed.

"Yeah." She gives me a stern look. "Oh, and Tris? You need to take it easy, which means no running."

How did she know? "Yes, okay. Sorry."

Christina is sitting on my bed, waiting, as Tobias and I get back to our room.

"Everything all right?" she asks. I nod.

"So, there's something I want to talk to you about…" She pauses and her eyes flicker uncertainly up toward Tobias, who gets the hint.

"I'll be outside", he says and leaves the room.

"What is it?" I ask as Tobias closes the door behind him.

"Almost everyone we knew is dead, right? Will, Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, your parents-"

"What's your point?" I interrupt her, not wanting to feel the hole in my heart where my friends used to be.

"We've got nothing left. So I got this offer from someone who works here at the Bureau… they wanted me to be in another city experiment, which means erasing my memory and a new start-"

"What? No! No way", I exclaim. "You're not thinking about it, right?"

"The thing is, I am. It would just be _so nice_ to start over, you know? I won't remember everything bad that has happened to us. I won't remember Will…" She's suddenly blinking away tears. "I won't remember those terrible things I did while under the simulation."

"Christina-"

"You should come with, Tris. We could start over together; it'll be just like before, only we'll feel better. No grief, no pain."

"Chris, we won't even _recognize_ each other. Besides, I don't want to start over. Even though I wish my friends and my parents were still alive, I'm finally happy with who I am." She starts to say something, but I interrupt her. "And what about Tobias? I can't leave him again."

She sits there, quiet, for a while, staring down at her hands.

"I'm sorry, Christina", I whisper.

"No, it's fine," she says in a quiet voice and gets up. "But I still think… I still think that I'll do it."

I feel too shocked and betrayed to say or do anything but shake my head repeatedly.

_No._ Christina, leave? _No, can't be._ My only friend left, my best friend, is going to leave me to be in another experiment. How can she do that, after everything we've been through, when she knows the people in the Bureau just stood there, watching, not doing anything?

Tears start running down my cheeks, although I stay quiet.

"I'm sorry, Tris", she says, and now she's crying to. "But the life here… it's just too much."  
And then she leaves the room.

Tobias enters as soon as she disappears out the door, a concerned look on his face.

"Why was she-" He interrupts himself as he sees my face. "What's going on? Why are you both crying?"

He sits down next to me, placing a hand on my back.

"She's leaving", I whisper. "To be in another society experiment."

"What? Why?"

"Too much grief." My voice is weak. "Too much pain."  
I'm no longer sure if I'm still talking about her or if I'm now referring to my own feelings. It could work for both.

"I'm so sorry", he says, taking my hand.

I shrug. "I guess we're the only ones left then, besides Cara, Peter and Caleb."

He stiffens a little as I mention her name, but still puts his strong arms around me and pulls me closer. We stand there for a while, my face against his chest. Then I look up to find his face only a few inches from mine. He leans forward, touching his nose too mine, his breaths coming fast, and we kiss. I let my right hand rest on his chest as the other one tangles into his hair. His hands rest on my hips, pulling my body closer to his. And at that moment, I forget that I was abandoned by my only remaining friend and betrayed by my own brother, I forget about all the dead people I once used to know, and I'm filled with a warm, true happiness about having Tobias by my side.

**So this is how far I've written, and I hope you guys have enjoyed it. I'm not quite sure whether I should end it here in this happy moment or if I should continue it a little further, about how they move into the real world or maybe writing something about what happens with Tris and Tobias in the future, like several years from this chapter. Please leave a review and let me know what you want. Thanks for reading! :)**


	6. Author's Message

**So sorry for not updating this story in a very long time. I'm hoping a few of you will still read when I do, but it might take a while, i make no promises. I have a lot going on with school - last year, so i barely have time to write. I got a couple of chapters prepared for Insurgent - Tobias POV, but not for this one, sadly... Please check out my other stories though and keep an eye out for updates on this one, because you never know when I choose to update, might be soon :)**

**Have a nice day/evening/whatever it is for you right now!**


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